My wife and I are approaching the age of 65. Like most couples, we have experienced a life with many episodes of heartbreak and trauma. The death of our parents, deaths of siblings and friends, loss of jobs, etc. Losing our house to fire is very different than anything else we have experienced. For one thing, its unexpected. You knew your parents would pass away some day, losing a job happens everyday in Silicon Valley. But this is different. It was not expected. It came out of nowhere. No warning. And in the end, it is absolute. The end of something. I don’t think we know what.
There is a community of people in Santa Rosa we read about and encounter as we go about our business. I think everyone is going through the same sort of things. Trying to recover, get to some level of normal, plan for the future. We finally were able to get into our lot about 2 weeks after the fire. The plan was to document the damage and sift through the ashes with an attempt to find certain things; computers, jewelry, silverware, china. Everyone sifts through the ashes. Some people find things. A story about a women who found her wedding ring. We found relics. Melted silverware, carcasses of burned out computers, shards of dishes, melted pots. Nothing that could ever be used again. We now have a box of these relics. I am planning on doing a photo project of them. What the hell. We have a blob of molten aluminum and rock that sits on our coffee table. Art or memory. Not sure.
So now, time to move on. Daily work with the insurance company. Endless spreadsheets to document what we lost. Working on house plans. Trying to find a builder. Hoping that the debris gets cleared soon from our lot. Reading all the stories. Thinking about building a new house is fun and daunting. My wife can’t imagine the level of effort to build and then furnish and decorate. Is it worth it? This same fire happened 50 years ago. Are we nuts to build in the same area? I don’t think we know. But what do you do instead? Its only one month, and I think we still are searching.